Tuesday 14 August 2012

Read The fine print



"So, let me get this straight-This is free?"
"Yes, free."
"And if it busts my computer, you'll give me a brand new one?"
"Yes, brand new."
Bwalya narrowed his eyes and looked intently at the man behind the counter. The man looked like he hadn't had a meal in longer than anyone cared to remember. His cheek bones were very pronounced and his eyes  looked two sizes smaller than their sockets. Not to mention the fact that he smelt like he bathed in stale potatoes. His smell quietly stuffed the nostrils like two dirty stubby fingers.
"And you said Langi is sick?" Bwalya asked.
"Sick." the man confirmed.
Bwalya shrugged his shoulders and then leafed out a few notes from his wallet. He paid for his new anti-virus and watched as the strange man placed it in a carrier bag, along with the black box containing the free software the man had given him. Bwalya thanked the strange man and made his way to the exit. Before he walked out, he turned his head toward the counter; his bones creaking like a battered door as he did. The stale-potato-scented man was staring blankly at him, his eyes cradled in dark ringed skin and looking almost lifeless. 'This guy looks like a zombie wearing a bad human costume.' Bwalya shuddered and quickly left the computer store.

Langi had worked in the computer store for the last three years, and as far as Bwalya knew or could remember, he had never fallen ill, not so much as the sniffles. He'd always boasted that scientists would someday do a study on his awesome immune system. 'Why, this is the stuff that superheroes are mad of man!' he bragged. 'I guess even wannabe superheroes can catch a bug' thought Bwalya.

Eerie as the man filling in for Langi was, he'd offered Bwalya a really sweet deal. The black box contained some software under development, the man had explained. He did so in a series of gestures and non-I.T related lingo. 'Another strange thing for a guy working in an I.T related shop'. He'd told Bwalya that it was a customisable operating system; that all he had to do was test drive it and give them a review. If it damaged or altered his computer in any way, the shop would gladly replace it.



Art by The Mighty Lo.


The box had no labels, no logos or any form of writing on any of its faces. Bwalya inspected it carefully as he backed up the information on his computer onto an external hard drive. 'Wouldn't want to lose all those "music videos" I've collected', he thought. When the back-up was done, he opened the black box and examined the disk it contained. It was just as black and label-less as its box. He inserted the black disk into the computer and somewhere in the back of his mind he hoped that it would get damaged. He related it to how some people would put their dogs down when they were in the twilight of their dog years. His P.C had been failing him recently, it had really began to show its age. The video playback had become sluggish and its monitor looked like an old analogue TV. A new machine would be such a blessing.

A small window popped up on the screen as soon as the disk spun a few times and loaded. It was nothing amazing, no special graphics or flash player. The window only had one sentence in it. It read;

‘THANK YOU FOR AGREEING TO TEST OUR PRODUCT. BEFORE YOU INSTALL THIS SOFTWARE, PLEASE READ OUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS.’

Bwalya clicked on the link to the terms and conditions and naturally did what most people do. Who really had time to read that legal jargon? 'This product can not be distributed, altered or sold without prior consent from the proprietor of the property forthwith, forth withholding all held in accordance with legislation and terms of agreeance of service....'...'Or something along those lines' Bwalya thought. He scrolled down through the body of words, unconsciously reading bits that his eye caught. He finally reached the bottom of the page and clicked on the 'I ACCEPT' tab.

The computer screen suddenly went black, except for a small white dot in its centre. He stared at his screen waiting for something to happen. 'Maybe this is all part of the installation'. After a while, he noticed that the small white dot had been growing very slowly. The computer began to 'beep' and 'boop' and then it shrieked, the shriek sounding more organic and lifelike than digital. The white dot grew larger and brighter before it started to exude a thick liquid-like smoke. The machine trembled like it was holding back some colossal energy. Bwalya's jaw dropped in utter amazement, his senses struggling hard to comprehend what was happening. The liquid-like smoke formed something similar to a small cesspool and it bubbled continuously on the floor. He leapt from his chair and reached behind his computer to pull out its plug. But disconnecting the power did not stop whatever had manifested itself through the computer screen.
The liquid smoke dripped and vaporized into what seemed to be its last bits in streaks at the base of Bwalya's monitor. Bwalya watched wide eyed and muscles tensed; ready to bolt for the door. If he had not taken a piss earlier, he would have probably wet himself when the black substance on his floor rose to form a body. Something sinister was coming to life right before his eyes, like a tar black mannequin or a charred Pinocchio becoming a 'real boy'. Two shoulders jutted out from either side of the body and extended into arms, one with a skeletal hand holding a long scythe. The black liquid smoke formed a hooded cloak to drape the terrifying figure. Its head slowly looked up from its chest to face Bwalya, revealing a ghost-white skinless skull. The skeletal man seemed to have a permanent grin on its face because he had no skin to cover his crooked teeth. His voice sounded like he was gargling crushed glass when he spoke.
"Bwalya Fungamwango, I am the fourth horseman; the severer of ties between life and what lies beyond. Some have referred to me through the ages as The Grim Reaper, though, my true name is, DEATH. But do not be alarmed, I have not come to claim your soul."
Bwalya remained silent for a moment. He had to choose his next words wisely, because they could have literally meant life or death. And then he said,
"You guys owe me a new computer.”

TO BE CONTINUED...

8 comments:

  1. Benny! to be continued when???? I had just grabbed a cuppa when it ended :(

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  2. Haha! Then I'll post it soon as I can and paste it on your wall first! Hope you liked it!

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  3. Intresting Mr Blow. Keep it going...

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  4. Thanks man! I'll post soonest!

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  5. nice blog checkout my blogs at

    http://www.onjokes.blogspot.com
    http://www.togetherfornature.blogspot.com
    http://www.definingwords.blogspot.com

    feel free to leave a comment

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  6. You had me at, "If I should die..". Great work in progress am guessing?

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading! Well, I may explore the theme further sometime in the future. Or even stretch Bwalya's adventures as the grim reaper.
      Hope you've read the other installments too! :)

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