Days of a Not-So-Distant Future Past

In the not-so distant-future, society would have visited every possible destination on the planet. Every nook and cranny, every crevice of the earth will have been a holiday destination or the subject of a tale of adventure and exploration. Man’s curiosity will have led him to the fiery pits of hell if there is promise of a new tourist attraction accompanied by a discount on travel costs and accommodation. But as with all things man touches, he will soon become bored with it all.

 “It’s not the same!” adventurers and tourists will wail, “Our curiosity just isn’t piqued anymore”. Curiosity will have already killed the cat and mad scientists will bring it back to life, and then in their spare time, provide man with alternative tourist destinations and activities. Virgin Galactic will face stiff competition from low cost carriers making no frills space trips and the future of travel will be brighter than the supernova you may see on a future Christmas day.  Here are a few popular destinations and activities that we might see somewhen:

 Nc’wala Traditional Ceremony  - February 20X5

Long ago, on their escape from the ruthless Zulu king, Shaka, the Ngoni people searched for arable land and engaged in fierce battles with the many tribes they came across. On their trek towards what we now refer to as Zambia, they left the southern most parts of Africa spattered with blood, and integrated weaker tribes into their settlements, diluting only their dialect but never their warrior spirit.

For decades the Nc’wala ceremony has been a celebration of their victories and the harvests of their bountiful pastures. In the not-so-distant future tourists will relive the battles through realistic holograms and eyeball exploding virtual reality technology. For a minimal fee, they shall experience the sights and smells of the original battles and be a part of the actual thanksgiving ceremony afterward. They could gain an authentic appreciation for the Ngoni customs or opt for a less vivid experience and just enjoy the vigorous dancing by the animal skin clad warriors.

The Zambian Art Gallery, Asteroid 1964 – Octember 20X5

Free land and real estate will be hard to come by in the not-so-distant future, so an innovative group of artists will curate and amass a definitive collection of Mother Zambia’s arts and cultural heritage, displaying it all in a gallery built on an asteroid that flies close to earth every 50 years. Its passing is an event the entire planet will look forward to and a once in a lifetime chance to see stunning works of art from memorable periods in Zambia.

Little boys with their orballoons, souvenir t-shirts and wonder-filled eyes will clutch their grand parents' hands tight as they weave through the halls of the world's most marvellous gallery. Universities will offer scholarships to budding art students and usher them to the asteroid on raggedy space buses. Struggling artists will boycott this event as another injustice to them and claim it is a commercialised exploitation of our heritage.

Regardless of the 'true artist's' opinion on exploitation, all will agree that the art housed and displayed on Asteroid 1964 is work that even the gods have always been in awe of. Unbelievably realistic Wood carvings, sculptures and visually breathtaking paintings; all visages of time's immortal memory of Zambian culture will flash across the earth's sky, painting a fiery streak on the planet's canvas. It will be stellar to say the least.

The Fiftieth Annual Jozi Film Festival – February 20X5

The Fiftieth Annual Jozi Film Festival will take place every February 30th in South Africa, showcasing the very best in filmmaking and presenting a multi-genre slate of films from emerging and seasoned filmmakers. From conscious films to passion projects, topics will touch on issues that affect our communities and will be awe inspiring.

Technological advancements will have made film making a lot easier and given those who dare to imagine a platform to create wonderful pictures. 5 dimensional films will be pioneered in South Africa, and Zambian cinema will be a festival favourite because of its attention to aesthetics.

The holographic erotica of France will have been scrapped from the program long ago because of its provocative nature, but one French artist will sneak a surprise into one of the screening rooms and earn himself some admiration and notoriety amongst his peers for his bravery. The Jozi Film Council will consider readmitting these holographic films into one of the festival categories. The matter will come up for hearing on a chosen future date.

International films will be screened over a three-day period at several venues throughout the country, including The Bioscope Independent Cinema in Johannesburg.

The Lost City of Atlantis

Too good a tale to be kept only in the imagination of lovers of mythology, pseudo historians and fringe scientists will come together to create the wonderful underwater paradise of Atlantis.

With its aquatic wonders, the carefully constructed city will attract more than a million visitors a year. Housed in an airtight transparent dome will be an architectural marvel that will shame even the Taj Mahal.  Exotic bricks and marvellous glass walls will be imported from around the world to build it. The entire structure will be self sustaining and run on 1000 Aquamegawatts of powerful hydroelectric power.

The attraction will come complete with bizarre marine life and even its own Merpeople. Some will say the Merpeople are genetically engineered specifically to dwell in this man-made wonder, but the sceptics will say they're just costumed kids willing to do anything for minimum wage. Still, there will be no denying the magic of the place. Gigantic multi coloured fish will swim around Atlantis's protective dome and provide the stuff of marine biologists' wettest dreams. Flash photography will not be permitted because it will scare and aggravate the aquatic denizens. The mermaids will be very popular with male visitors.

 Sunny Siavonga

Aside from a better road network and a dedicated airport, nothing much will change in Siavonga in the not-so-distant future. Conservationists will decide to keep this little slice of Zambia free from wretched metal technology and its pollution. Its sandy beaches will be a relaxing tourist destination and its beautiful sunsets the muse for countless poems. This will become one of the few places on earth where you can spot some hippos and if you’re lucky, you might even get mauled by a crocodile!

Families will enjoy boat cruises and take tours with the locals to remember what Zambia was like long ago. The tweens will bitch about how the boats do not travel as fast as the WaterFly 3000 or transform mid-cruise into a submarine, like the WaterFly 3000, and that the worst thing about Siavonga is that it does not have a single WaterFly 3000. A few vacations will be ruined by this constant wining, but none of it will take away from the serene beauty of sunny, shiny-metal-free Siavonga.

Image courtesy of Wallpapers Acknowledgement Portal

A Prelude to The tale of mighty Siavonga Music Festival

BIGINNEN

I'd been looking forward to this event since the last rains, and the day had finally come. Last year, I was at the Kariba Music Festival for but a night and I had resolved to gorge on the festivities in their entirety this time around. My tribe had assembled and our brother, Yosa ferried us to the land of sun and sand in his metal chariot.

I still did not have my press permit and I needed to meet with one Dan Hartwright to rectify this. My email attempts had been futile, but I was still determined.

We arrived at the mighty Eagle’s Rest just as the blistering sun was setting, and Karen, overseer of the fabled lodge, saw to it that we had a place to rest our heads. Brother Dabz and I would be resting in a tent by the lakeside. But sleep was for the weak. We were weekend warriors; we were there to feast and be merry, to dance to the sounds of the bandsmen and women! We were there to be mighty!

As we marvelled at the beauty of the beach, friend Mutale, an acquaintance of brother Dabz told us the tale of his time there last year. He was looking forward to hearing the enchanting music of Mumba Yachi.

“I was drunk and sleeping at around 4 AM, in a Ford right over there, and I heard Mumba Yachi playing. I was like, ‘What IS that sound?’”.

Mumba Yachi’s sound is deeply rooted in traditional Zambian music. His ballads had even me, who is more inclined toward the music of the west, anticipating his set.

The people had already begun to sip on their ales when Pompi, the Giant Killer was executing his sound check.  “The keyboard artist needs more vocals... We can hear more of the instruments than our own voices,” he said sending commands to the stagemen. The brew-thirsty crowd demanded more music and called for an encore. The Giant Killer obliged.

The stars studded the sky and J-bus officially struck up the acquaintance with, ‘Nice to know ya’. The crowd had multiplied in number and danced merrily to the reggae sounds of J-Bus as the stage strobe lights stroked their sunburnt skin.

“WE LOVE YOU, MUMBA YACHI!” was the call from some nubile female in the audience. Clearly his song and act was the stuff of legend. The stagemen employed their sorcery and a cloud of smoke floated up from behind Mumba while he strummed his guitar and told the tale behind his song, ‘Tute’. It was a metaphor for how like cassava, some relationships can be bitter to taste.

Brother Dabz spewed something about music I cannot quite recall. It was mostly inaudible and my mind would drift to the bodies on the sandy beach. Unbeknownst to us, the Poet PilAto was also among us.  “I just want to be here as one of the people,” he told me. He would not be performing at the festival this year. He was not dressed in his usual performance attire, and if not for his black bear-size beard, I would not have recognised him.

Sometime before the witching hour, a three man band took the chaflet. They played a trance inducing form of rock, whose techno-colour sounds you could almost see. The lead came from a bearded man playing some mystic instrument. Shamus of Shamrock, whom I had met many moons ago at the Siavonga Canoe Challenge informed me that this instrument was an electric violin and that the men hailed from Southern Africa. They answered to the name, Albino Beach.

Albino beach cared not who was awake at that hour. They played on until I stumbled into our tent and yielded to the sandman. Karen the overseer had handed me my scribe’s permit by then. She had managed to acquire it from Dan, he whose Heart is Right. The next day had more in store.

The Mystic Mumba Yachi

Benny Blow is a weekend warrior that has never lost a fight to a bear or beer. Follow his tales on twitter HERE, and read of his adventures on The Best of Zambia HERE.

You can read the entire tale HERE and see the pictures I took HERE.